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August 11th, 2008

11:53 pm - P.S. I got some disturbing news this evening and its angered me and pissed me off because of the complications it could cause and so I came here to let off some steam and the previous post came out really down and ever so melodramatic. Sorry about that! I'm OK, just tired ... in more ways than one ... Current Mood: cynical

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11:41 pm - Ugh! I am tired. Tired of shit. Tired of being shit on. Tired of feeling like I can't get ahead. Tired of feeling like I am paying for some bad karma from a previous life I know nothing about. Tired of the mediocrity, the same old crap, the lack of imagination, the endless lack of peace and joy. I am tired of feeling like I'm almost there and then the sinkhole of life opens up and sucks it. Just once in a while I would like to go a week or two where I feel good and life leaves me alone, you know? Current Mood: crappy

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July 15th, 2008

04:29 pm - What in the Hell is it ... So, I'm going around to all my journals and updating because I have been totally un ~ journally for about 8 months and only update once in a red moon. Still unemployed, moved to a new house(cottage), have a sinus infection curtesy of nephew, feel crappy, depressed, bitchy ~ ish. I have paid the phone bill so I'll have the internet, but the DISH is another matter and mom isn't going to be very happy if I have internet and she has no TV so that is an upcoming drama. I suck when it comes to money management!!! I have two very good internet friends ~ Sapphoq and Kiss_of_Rage. They are the best even when I am AWOL  for long periods of time. I don't know what else to say. I got dsl and so now spend inordinate amounts of time on Youtube cuz I can now watch the clips with ease. Now I wish to say ... FUCK FUCK FUCK Ok, better now. :} I read about Nebris's experience with the LJ vote thing. Why are there so many shit~eaters out there. What's the point. I guess since you are unlikely to track down these jackasses in real life they figure they can just let loose and be their true selves. But my guess is you wouldn't want to spend anytime with them in real life anyway cuz they are crap but still...  I suppose its my age. I am just to old for these crapass younguns and their bullshit!  :} OK, I'm off to another journal to write about nothing! bye bye! :~} Current Mood: grumpy

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July 4th, 2008

10:51 pm - The Evil Empire that is Viacom and Its Innocent Victims ~ The Users of Youtube!!! http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/07/judge-orders-yo.html Current Mood: scared

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April 29th, 2008

11:42 pm - Sad, but True Well, CJ is still here!!! Yay!!! I wanted to contribute to keeping this site alive, but the sad truth is I have $5 in the bank and $3 dollars in my pocket and a week to go to payday. This is because I am a total shit at managing money. Worse of course than that, since I got laid off because of the MTG. Meltdown, my severance will run out soon and then I am up Shit Creek without a paddle. Fuck it all. Damn the man, Hack the planet! I had $1400 in tax refund and spent it all in two weeks and that was in Feb. so stupid. I know I should have saved some. I am now waiting for my Stimulus check. Fuckin A, A, A. I will have that spent in a week and Good Lord Help Me, I am an idiot when it comes to money! By the time all is said and done, the only thing I may have left is a place to live and a phone line and dialup  to entertain. I need to find a job and I am just out of it. fuck fuck fuckity fuck. Sorry for the language. I need to say fuck!  Went to GJ. You can comment but you can't post now. It is really fucked up too. Someone put in the last News comment that the ads were back so where the hell is the money going to? To System's pocket while the site just sits there. Isn't somebody going to tell those advertisers that the site is dead and they are paying for dead air? Oh, Well ... Current Mood: thoughtful

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April 7th, 2008

03:04 pm - Thoughts and such ... I refuse to believe ...spend a day doing nothing ... nothing gets done ... don't care ... can't care ... rape of the pillion ... Thoughts and such ... * I was reading another's Blogger and suddenly felt nastalgic for my own. I don't use this much anymore or visit. I still miss dearlis. She left without saying goodbye. I was naive enough to think that I had made a friend, but maybe I insulted/offended her with my last comment to her. It was not meant that way. Its just so hard to talk to someone else about what's really in your head or how you're feeling without saying something that comes out wrong or is taken the wrong way. I really liked her posts and how she wrote. I enjoyed ... OK, I'm just a fool ... * I got the impression from some of her writing that she didn't like it that people were actually reading her Blogger. She seemed to want to keep her thoughts and writing private, which isn't exactly what Blogger is for. That's better left to the slow sites like LOJO and DeadJournal. * I have all these journals. I never post in them anymore. I don't know. I find that the more flist you have, the more closed you become. Like in face to face encounters, I believe I have censured myself. Afraid that if I am completely open that I will be rejected. There are things inside our heads that we never mean to share. These are our private thoughts and fantasies, day-dreams and such. * I just had a strange thought ... I miss me. * My internet connection is shit. So fucking slow. Damn! I know only, the future cannot be driven by the past. We move beyond, but not forward. we lose faith, but not life i have only dreams, and illusions, and little hope i live to see the future Who sees but does not listen who moves in forward spirals and cannot see beyond do you see beyond to miracles do you see nothing in your way do you live without lifeblood Somewhere along the line I got too old to sit with my legs crossed and they ache all the time. I am afraid of a bloodclot, but sitting on my bed is where I live now! Very telling. Lets try to tell this without going over the falls. You know what you mean. You know what you mean to say. You know what you want to convey. You try to write it in a post or a discussion forum. Friendship, lightheartedness, something. Instead you end up insulting someone. You end up having it taken the wrong way. You end up feeling frustrated that what you meant when you wrote it ends up not being understood. When I was 18 and full of noble ideas and a true belief that I was a good person, I went to college and one day sitting in the caffeteria I heard a couple of guys at the table behind me talking about the college's basketball team and they were making racist remarks about the black players. Do you know what I did? I did nothing. Nothing at all. I just sat there outraged by what they were saying, but I didn't say a word! I have many regrets in my life, thousands perhaps. Things I've done that I shouldn't have. Things I wanted to do and didn't have the courage to do. But sitting there and listening to those guys say the things they were saying and not standing up and saying something, anything at all, is the most shameful act I have ever commited. And I will never be able to atone for that. Words hurt, Words kill. Current Mood: frustrated

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March 29th, 2008

03:14 am - Thinking Thoughts at 3 AM I like joining journal sites. I have about seven. That's just the sites. I have 2 or 3 journals on some sites. I used to do that sort of thing as a kid. Buy paper and pens, lots mind you, and then have nothing to put on the blank page. Its ridiculous! I want to be creative. I want to be artistic. But its not me! I am too utilitarian. And I'm not much of a writer either! Wanted to be. Have lots of cool daydreams. But it never gets on paper or journal post. Too much fantasy, not enough ... what? LJ is going to Hell it seems. Everybody's worst fears after it was bought out by SUP coming to fruition. All of a sudden 6Apart seems not quite, small not quite as bad. I haven't spent any time here because I haven't been posting anywhere for awhile. I did manage to post a New Year's post. I like the letter on the face page here. Very radical, Berkeley almost. 60's man. Damn the Man and his machine! Let us protest! Let us howl at the moon! I love CJ! I love the fact that it is standing in open daring to be free! Let us stand in the open field of dreams and howl. Damn the Man, Hack the Planet! Current Mood: cheerful

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December 31st, 2007

08:22 pm - Happy New Year ~ 2008 CommieJournal's 1st New Year's. Congrats!!! And to everyone at CJ ~ May the New Year bring Joy, Health, and Happiness!!! Current Mood: cheerful

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December 3rd, 2007

12:00 am - LiveJournal Sold !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6Apart has sold LiveJournal ! : http://www.businessweek.com/technology/c ontent/dec2007/tc2007123_052837.htm?chan=top+news_top+news+index_businessweek+exclusives Long link Current Mood: shocked

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December 2nd, 2007

01:41 pm - Cute! If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mother made it .. then buy a dog. If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want . then buy a dog. If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies then buy a dog. If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ..... then buy a dog ! If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually then buy a dog. BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness............. then buy a cat!   Now be honest, you thought I was going to say.........then marry a man. Current Mood: amused

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01:38 pm - from the No Adult is this Creative file! Melanie(age 5): asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.!"   Steven(age 3): hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window!"   Brittany(age 4): had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"   Susan(age 4): was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, " It makes my teeth cough."    DJ(age 4); stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: " How much do I cost?"   Marc(age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"   Clinton(age 5): was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"   James(age 4): was listening to a bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"   Tammy(age 4): was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?" The sermon this Mom will never forget..........this particular Sunday sermon....."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven  and a rapturous look on his upturned face.   "Without you, we are but dust."  He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mama, what is butt dust?" Current Mood: cheerful

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November 2nd, 2007

09:29 pm - lover, the river, the cup “May life grant all that you desire from three lips, those of your lover, the river, and the cup.” Current Mood: touched

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October 25th, 2007

02:17 pm - Gakked I hereby declare this mookie47 gakked day! and if you can figure out what that means you're doin better than me. Birthday today... gagamaggot ! Current Mood: cheerful

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02:08 pm - Helloooooooooooo? Anybody Home? Today I am 48. And, either everybody went to Tahiti and forgot me or I have been just too boring on the posts. Because I haven't heard from anybody in a long time! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO? Current Mood: awake

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October 24th, 2007

06:05 pm - Stuff ish So I haven't been updating lately. I seem to be blogged out. It seems like too much trouble to update. The web has been boring. And then... I get into this Torchwood, Gareth David-Lloyd, John Barrowman thing and I'm becoming as obsessed with it as I was with Qaf. And of course its just as frustrating because they don't make enough episodes and the ones on BBCA are a year old and the new season won't hit here for another year. Which is bullshit. I hated that about QaF too. Why do they have to make so few episodes and take so long between seasons or series? I used to blame The Sopranos, but now I think it a thing brought over from BBC. F' em! Anyway, so I spend all my time on Youtube and with dialup it takes an hour to see a ten minute clip! And tomorrow is my 48th Birthday...  WooHoo! I am alive and in relatively good health and my life is and has been mediocre. So, no really... SO! I keep wondering if my former life left some karma that would cause this. Cuz, I sure haven't amounted to what I dreamed or fantasized about. Who knows. Anyway, Happy B'day to ME!!! Current Location: Home on Vacation Current Mood: calm Current Music: Nickelback Tags: stuffish

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October 7th, 2007

02:05 am - This site sucks shit! What in the hell have they done now! This is all f***ed up.....AGAIN! this is kind of a pain in the ass! Current Mood: confused

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September 26th, 2007

01:54 am - Just Because I can/did Current Mood: amused

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September 23rd, 2007

10:55 pm I posted this in my lj and I post it here for what its worth, but it pisses me off, more cowardice as I see it! OK, so this is kicking around the interwebby and I just felt the need to post it: (gacked from a post)  So, now livejournal is deleting/screening comments to their news posts, such as people complaining that the new color scheme for some dang thing is ugly, and then banning those people from commenting in news! So, anybody care that LJ is now unable to deal with criticism and is banning posters just because they don't like their comments. LJ- Grow some balls, grow up and stop being dweebs! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So endeth the comment by me!     Current Mood: jacked off

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September 18th, 2007

10:20 pm - Still nothin much doin! So somethings drive me crazy. I have a hard time figuring out the stuff at the top of the posting page, like the strike out and how to turn it off. Xanga has this really cool thing where you can choose your font color and then you can put a background color behind it. I love that! Current Mood: blah Tags: nothin much

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September 17th, 2007

10:38 pm - None Much More So, I am alone now. I wish my Yahoo mail had a sign in as different user tab. At least I haven't found one. As of now I have to login and logout and login again. Don't ask why I have more that one Yahoo email. I just do! Here's a question for you-How does a person get 601 friends on their friends list? That's how many a friend at LJ has and I can't imagine how you would get that many, read that many on your friends page or keep up or keep track! I mean a little goes a long way, ya know?  Tired, and just a little dizzy! Too many cigs! Current Mood: dizzy Tags: none much more

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