The Girl the ESRB Warned You About

I find 'tis very difficult t' write a post about me tide at th' end o' me own tide, considerin' thar`s still stuff t' happen after I post. So I figured I`d start off today by talkin' about last high tide'.

By th' way, in case ye didna know, 'tis Talk Like a Swashbuckler Tide. This post be th' only thin' I do t' participate in 't tho on accoun' o' th' World o' Warcraft SwashbucklerTalk! mod drove me insane.

Yesterday, I worked me arse off. I managed t' do FOUR whole FAQ`s fer CommieJournal, make a new user profile fer that site (instead o' makin' icons), but I failed t' create a helm in Ragnarok Online or t' write. I logged into Ragnarok Online an' we somehow ended up in a guild alliance wi' th' biggest idiots. Thankfully, I wasn`t thar fer th' whole headache. Nay organization whatsoereand th' fact they only had one priest be pretty bad. I could rant more about that but 'tis nay worth 't.

We sailed' t' th' mall instead an' picked me up th' purse I wanted. `Tis so cute, I`ll be havin' t' show 't off later when I get homeport~ Super Arrrr Kitty t' th' rescue! I also got a new wallet (dasn't really match tho) on accoun' o' me old one be fallin' apart.

Then gene made me some sexy dinner an' some nice water t' drink. He`s such a genius, I swear. Really ortin' ta become a cook ♥♥♥~

Okay so that be me borin' tide last high tide'. Today be only bound t' get better on accoun' o' o' Buccanneer Talk. Arr!

Pirate Pick Up Lines
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!