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Spiders are fucking douche bags, okay? They're like evil, eight-legged ex-boyfriends. They show up at two in the morning, stumbling around and scaring the shit out of you... Seriously, why do they only come out right before you're ready to go to bed? What is the logic and/or justice in that? FUCKING HATE.
And this one? Was a big mother. By my standards anyway. Big and red and had spindlies sticking out of him (I don't think those were legs, because he wasn't walking on them), and he looked almost segmented into two halves. I have never seen a spider like this fucking thing before. Of course, I had to call in my usual backup: mom. Just thank God it decided to crawl its nasty ass back out from behind my entertainment center, or I'd be sleeping with mommy right now. Hell, I still might! That's how much this kind of thing freaks me out!
Mom squashed it with my sandal. It left a huge smear, too. GLACK! Bleh bleh bleh. Patooie.
Practically anything else could invade my room, and I would not get this scared. A cobra could slither in here, and I'd just whap it and run. Aliens, from the movie Aliens, could bust through the wall, and I'd be like, "awesome!" And the only thing that would make that better is if a Predator was right on its tail. Like literally riding its tail. I'd just manage to duck a few times and watch the show. Vampires and werewolves? I welcome that shit! Well, not even just compared to spiders, but... you get the idea.
Hey, maybe that's why Yancy is a douche! It all makes sense now... Speaking of, I don't know how I manage to love Anansi/Yancy so much when I can't abide spiders at all. I am confusing even to me.
And this one? Was a big mother. By my standards anyway. Big and red and had spindlies sticking out of him (I don't think those were legs, because he wasn't walking on them), and he looked almost segmented into two halves. I have never seen a spider like this fucking thing before. Of course, I had to call in my usual backup: mom. Just thank God it decided to crawl its nasty ass back out from behind my entertainment center, or I'd be sleeping with mommy right now. Hell, I still might! That's how much this kind of thing freaks me out!
Mom squashed it with my sandal. It left a huge smear, too. GLACK! Bleh bleh bleh. Patooie.
Practically anything else could invade my room, and I would not get this scared. A cobra could slither in here, and I'd just whap it and run. Aliens, from the movie Aliens, could bust through the wall, and I'd be like, "awesome!" And the only thing that would make that better is if a Predator was right on its tail. Like literally riding its tail. I'd just manage to duck a few times and watch the show. Vampires and werewolves? I welcome that shit! Well, not even just compared to spiders, but... you get the idea.
Hey, maybe that's why Yancy is a douche! It all makes sense now... Speaking of, I don't know how I manage to love Anansi/Yancy so much when I can't abide spiders at all. I am confusing even to me.
awake
I'm sorry you don't like spiders!
Yeah, they scare the poo out of me, but at least I have my mom, the fearless spider killer! Hehe!
I don't even know what that huge-ass spider looked like that I almost walked right into because it was just sitting there all inconspicuous in the kitchen entryway, but it was large enough that I asked me brother if it was maybe a few small branches dragged in from outside by the dogs. He looked at it, went 'Oh!' went and got his flip flop and crunched the hell out of that bastard. I just went into shock, I seriously almost fainted. I sagged against the couch and slowly slid down it. I don't walk to the kitchen in the dark anymore.
Spiders are nasty buggers. I know my mom would always tell me that they were good because they ate all the other bugs. Yeah. And they just sit and wait to crawl over me with those disgusting hairy legs of theirs when I go to sleep. Ewwww!
But Yancy, Yancy's lovable! I don't hold it against him! I love the booger! XD
GYAH! They do that, don't they? Show up in the worst spots.
I know my mom would always tell me that they were good because they ate all the other bugs. Yeah. And they just sit and wait to crawl over me with those disgusting hairy legs of theirs when I go to sleep. Ewwww!
I KNOW! A friend of mine was trying to convince me that because they eat bugs, they're good. And I was like, "yeah, and if they get on your arm and mistake you for some kind of giant insect, they bite. Fuck them." LOL!